25 Things about Me

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.  At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.  You have to tag the person that tagged you.  If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.  

1. Coffee is my ultimate love.  It is the first thing I want in the morning -- the one thing I need to get my day started.  Please don't ask me to make any major decisions without first having my morning cup 'o joe.  I even purchased a brand new coffee maker for my parent's house because I snobbily disapproved of theirs.  
   
2. I'm kind of a nerdy geek.  I like technology, the internet, new gadgets, and marching band.  I think nerdy is cool.  
   
3. Despite my nurturing spirit, I can kill almost any plant that comes into my life.  
   
4. I want to be a midwife more than anything.  It's my calling.  Seeing a baby come into this world is by far the most amazing thing I have ever seen.  Ever.   It warms my heart when my friends say they want me as their midwife when they have babies.
   
5. I'm Native American -- NC Cherokee to be specific.  
   
6. My family, especially my father, are my heart and soul.  I would do anything for them.   It sucks being so far away.  I'm the oldest of 9 children.  Amazingly, I can remember everyone's names!  Mostly, we all look like my dad.  
   
7. I was a nanny for like 6 years before coming to Atlanta.  My favorite was nannying for twin girls.  I still stay in contact with their momma.  They're four this May.  
   
8. I've only quit one job.  Ever.  It was a horrible job that has scarred me for life.  
   
9. Sometimes, I boycott shaving, especially in the winter.  It takes up too much of my time.  
   
10. My Fuji Crosstown 2.0 in burgundy is my primary mode of transportation.  I have a rack, an Ortlieb waterproof pannier, and (new) black fenders.  I hope to add new bell soon.  
11. I can be super mean when you're trying to wake me up.  I say things I don't remember and will tell major lies in order to stay in bed.  Not sure how this is going to work when I'm on call-shifts. 
    
12. I want lots of kids.  Circa 5 or more.  And I want to have my babies at home. 
    
13. I don't really like to put my clothes away.  If it weren't for Beloved, I'd have my clothes decorating every surface of my apartment.  
14. I graduated with a BA in Women's Studies in 2007.  My diploma still isn't framed.  
15. I don't really like cartoon-themed scrubs.  I have sworn to myself that I will not wear them.  
16. My DivaCup is freakin' awesome.  If you have any questions, please ask.  
17. Aside from my eyes, I'd say my breasts are one of my best features.  People who don't know my name at school have aptly settled on the girl "with the boobs."     
18. I used to smoke.  I quit almost 4 years ago when I started dating Beloved.  I'm so glad it happened before nursing school.  
19. I like the L Word.  Even better than the show is the Planet Podcast with KC & Elka.  They are so funny.  
20. I like artists.  My two most serious relationships have been with a painter & a musician.
21. I had two monologues in my university's production of The Vagina Monologues.  My father and entire family attended.  I had the see-you-next-Tuesday monologue.  
22.  My baby brother is 7 years old.  He was born when I was a senior in high school.  He and I are super close.  I was the only one who could put him down to sleep until age 2.  He's still spoiled.  People used to mistake him for my son.  
23. I am friends with all of my exes.  Pretty standard in the lesbian community.  
24. I'm addicted to Pandora & PandoraJam.  
25. A quote from Peggy Vincent's Baby Catcher, "Seeing a white dove fly free from a wizard's cupped hands paled in comparison to watching a glistening baby with pink fingernails and wet eyelashes appear from inside a woman's body.  It wasn't magic.  It was real.  In that moment, I knew I wanted to spend my life caring for women having babies."   

Please leave me a comment to yours, so I can read it.  Thanks for playing!

I tag: 

• Chronicles of Conception
• Family O
• Finding Chaos
• Stand & Deliver
• Sage Femme
• Navelgazing Midwife
• Minority Midwifery Student
• Magical Mystery Land of Community Health
• Not Nurse Ratched

But if anyone else who I didn't tag wants to play, go right ahead!  Just leave me a link to the post so I can read it. 

It's been awhile

I know I've been a terrible blogger of late but much has been going on in my personal life thus forcing me into survival mode these past few months.  Last semester was my Med/Surg clinical.  In the midst of that, my father had a terrible freak accident, I missed weeks of class, went home on several unplanned trips, and barely made it through the semester -- emotionally, physically, academically or otherwise.  His health is just starting to come around again, but I bounced back much slower than anticipated.  During all of this, my car died so I donated it to charity.  As a result, my bike and I have been spending a lot of time together.  I've just started my last semester before becoming a RN (real nurse -- lol).  This semester should be fairly easy and quiet since I completed my community health course last summer.  Right now I'm sick with the flu (type A -- to be specific) despite getting the vaccine.  And that brings us up to speed.  

I'm currently doing my role transition (senior practicum) in Labor & Delivery at my hospital where I work.  I've only had one day on the floor so far and I really enjoyed myself.  My preceptor seems interested in teaching me, so that's always a plus.  And I am working in a familiar setting where I have a locker, know people, and in general feel quite comfortable.  I had hoped to "try on" this unit to see if I wanted to work there after I pass my NCLEX.  Unfortunately, they don't let you do part-time in L&D so I may just end up working in Mother/Baby.  As long as I have a job, then I will be happy.  I'm ironing out the details but should have a position secured shortly.  It's nice to know you'll have somewhere to go once you're done with school.  I'm not interested in working on a Med/Surg floor at all.  

In reflecting on my experience on the L&D floor, it's much better than my prior maternity rotation at the university-affiliated hospital.  Did I mention that student midwives from our university do not have privileges at the university hospitals?  How ludicrous is that?  Our students come to my hospital or another public institution for their training.  Can you imagine the med students not being able to practice in our university hospitals?  There would be an outrage.  This is one area that really angers me about my program.  Needless to say, the lack of midwifery care at the university hospital is apparent.  In my practicum, I have already worked with a couple midwives.  I always ask them where they went to school -- last week I had someone from Georgetown and before that someone from my program.  

Beloved and I are doing well.  Her father is helping me to find another car to purchase.  I'm thinking about the Honda Fit because I think it's super cute.  I want something small and practical.  Hondas seem to last forever -- my very first car was a Honda.  I'm ready for something practical.  

Despite my silence, I have still been keeping up with my favorite blogs.  I'm sure I will be back to posting regularly now.  

Morning thoughts

Life has been super busy for me lately.  Balancing class, clinical, studying, family, and work have been keeping me pretty occupied.  I've come to the conclusion that I really dislike Med/Surg.  While the content is interesting --- the whole cleaning up poo, wiping butts, catheterizing people, looking at drains and tubes, measuring what comes out of them, and in general being around sick people and their accompanying smells really is not what I want to do.  Plus I have an overarching fear of "old" people which has not been assuaged by dealing with them each week.  I try to "grin and bear it" but yesterday I reached my limit -- teary-eyed -- in a failed attempt to straight cath my pt.  Thankfully this limit was met at the end of my 12 hour shift and at the completion of my 1st four-week Med/Surg. rotation.  I will get 4 weeks "off" in my Psych. rotation but then will be back with a vengeance for the last 4 weeks of this semester. 

In political news, I've got this financial crisis on my mind mainly because I've been hearing all about it for the past couple of days.  (Blame NPR.)  Also, there's craziness surrounding gas down here.  Every time we pass a gas station,  there are at least 5-8 cars in line for gas at all hours.  Gas stations are out of gas -- it's really weird.  I've never seen this type of thing in VA when I was there.  So I guess we're really in a crisis.  Thank goddess I purchased a bike in March.  I haven't driven my car in awhile.   Should I need an automobile, I just take Beloved's car.  

I took this morning off -- I'm supposed to be in class, but decided that I needed a stimulus-free morning home with the dogs.  After clinical, I find that I'm quite over-stimulated.  There's smells (generally unpleasant), constant sounds of various sorts -- people talking, beeps, buzzers, machines, phones, beepers, and harsh light.  When I get home, silence is golden.  I think I'm not meant to work during the day.  After doing both days and nights, I much prefer the relatively semi-quiet night shift.  Although we're busy at night, it's easier to work rather than spend *all* day in the hospital.  But I recently learned in my Professional Development class that night shift workers live shorter lives.  Fantastic!  

I'm so far enjoying my Birth & Global Health class.  It's wonderful to see other people learn about birth and want to create change.  I feel like it was me a few years ago.  I love to be able to help others along their journey.  Plus I'm learning too.  It's not an academically-rigorous course so I have time to enjoy the content and discussion.  Well I suppose my stimulus free morning must come to an end because I have a test tomorrow that I need to study for.  

Orgasmic Birth

School is back in full swing.  We started back the last week of August.  I am entertaining a pretty busy schedule including Med/Surg. and Psych. clinical rotations.  We started our first IVs on each other last week -- all of us succeeding!  I decided to take an elective class called Birth & Global Health taught by one of my favorite midwives at the school.  Its syllabus includes some great authors such as Robbie Davis-Floyd, Jennifer Block, Marsden Wagner, Brigitte Jordan, etc.  I'm enjoying the content very much so far.  

Before school resumed, I stole a little bit of time away from work and went home for a much-needed visit/vacation.  I miss my family terribly and enjoyed catching up with them.  We spent a lot of time just hanging out at the house, even went to the beach as a family!  I saw a lot of good friends as well.  Overall, it was a wonderful visit and exactly what I needed to start school off on the right foot.  

Working at the very busy hospital in Mother-Baby is going well also.  I took care of my first lesbian couple this past weekend.  I'm not out at work, so it's interesting to hear what co-workers had to say in reference to this family.  I wanted to chat them up but decided against it.  Also interesting this weekend was very anti-choice snippets overheard in the nursery.  I simply cannot understand this point of view at all.  I've cut down to only working 2 nights/week, but can occasionally pick up shifts if needed.  I feel like working has helped me a lot in feeling comfortable in a clinical setting, effectively managing my time with several patients, and working on interpersonal skills.  Also, I've gotten pretty excellent at breastfeeding instruction.  They call me the "breastfeeding guru" on our floor.  I will help anyone at anytime breastfeed.  I'm a breastfeeding-initiator and have helped a lot of my patients get off to the right start.  

I have been cycling pretty regularly throughout the summer.  Combined with the 15,000 steps walked each shift at work, I've lost a substantial amount of weight (circa 20 lbs.) without even really trying.  I had my first official fall from my bike last week which resulted in a huge bruise on my calf and a turned ankle.  I will survive, but am certain I will be purchasing a pannier to center my weight lower on my bike.  Right now I've got a rack with a milk crate.  While it works amazingly, when loaded, it carries weight much higher on the bike and can result in instability.  So I think I may bite the bullet and purchase a bonafide pannier to install.  

Yesterday I got up earlier than normal to attend a screening of Orgasmic Birth.  It's pretty much in line with Business of Being Born but it focuses more on the sensuality of birth.  A few orgasmic births are documented but not as many as it would seem since that is the title of the movie.  The main message was that birth can be pleasurable.  It was nicely done and I'd recommend it.  After the movie, there was a small panel of people to do a Q & A session.  It included two local midwives (CPM and a CNM) and two women who wanted to share their birth stories.  

Afterward, myself and two fellow classmates waited to speak with the midwives.  Many of the midwifery students in my program whole-heartedly support homebirth; however when trying to make contacts and connections within the birth community, CNM students face resistance with the CPMs.  This questioning of "Why do you want to be a CNM?" spurred a conversation among our group.  I really wish there was more of a collegial relationship between CNMs and CPMs.  Both have valuable knowledge and resources.  I feel that if midwives (in general) show a united front, we would perhaps have a stronger voice.  For me, the education I'm receiving provides me with important skills and knowledge that I feel are invaluable.  Additionally, working within a system in order to create change is my ideal.  A spirit of collaboration instead of divisiveness is what needs to happen.  Nurse-midwives aren't all "just as bad as doctors" -- there are a lot of midwives agitating for change and working just as hard as CPMs to see it happen.  Just because CNMs work within the system doesn't necessarily mean they agree with it.  This is an issue that continuously reoccurs within our circle.  

I have some awesome pictures that I will post later.  Sorry for the silence -- I have been keeping up with all of you even though I haven't written much myself.  

Busy month

So I've resorted to becoming a once-a-month blogger. I am resolved to blog more than that but sometimes my life doesn't seem interesting enough to write about. My two weeks in South Georgia were amazing. We provided care to both the migrant farm workers and their children. Overall I think we ended up seeing 500-600 people which is no small feat. Our mornings consisted of screenings for the children at school -- ages from 3-15. We got them ready for school (GA requires certain paperwork in order for kids to be able to start school.) I helped to screen hearing, vision, blood glucose, height & weight, and hemoglobin. I can't imagine how scary it must be for the littlest of the group -- the 3 & 4 year olds -- who speak Spanish, go to a strange place (school) with teachers who speak English. It was actually quite cute though because we got a system down by the end of our time there. I had kids who remembered my name and waved hello to me after they had finished up with us. It was cute. The kids were by far my favorite part.

In the evenings, we setup camp at different farm sites each night. The farm workers came in from the fields around dusk and we began seeing patients. It was hot and muggy, lots of gnats and other bugs, but they waited patiently to be seen. I worked a lot with intake -- doing intake independently in Spanish. My Spanish has improved exponentially and I had a long conversation with a young farm worker about his life. One patient in particular had a badly infected finger that was swollen grotesquely to mid-forearm and streaked up way past the elbow. He was beyond our capacity and our clinic liaison drove him to the ER. Although we got to him in time before he went septic, they weren't able to save the finger. We are able to provide care and also refer patients to the local clinic that could handle things beyond our scope. The local clinic is awesome. We worked as an extension of them and really enable them to reach a large number of people. They also provide continuity of care by following up with those who need it. They will pick up migrant workers to bring them to the clinic, take them to the hospital if necessary, help find funding for care (like in the situation of the man who had to have his finger amputated), provide other services and are source for community referrals, etc.
While in South GA, we also had the opportunity to pick in the fields. Pictured above is a zucchini squash field where I picked.

Once I back in the ATL, I immediately began my new job. It's at a non-Em0ry hospital (imagine that!) and I'm very excited about working there. Last week was mainly hospital orientation, boring HR/administrative stuff, computer class, and unit orientation. Today will be my first night shift on the unit. Although I'm still in orientation, we'll actually be providing patient care! I'm working as a tech on a postpartum floor in one of the busiest hospitals in the area. So far my experience has been positive. My orienter introduced me to everyone we met. I will be in orientation for the next 3 weeks. After that, I go to my home floor and work my shift independently. After a two month job search, I'm happily settled in at my new job. I will stay on even into the school year and perhaps even work as an RN after I pass my NCLEX.

Also coming up -- ATL Pride is this weekend. Not sure what I'm going to do but I know I want to check some of it out. I've never been to pride (here or anywhere) and everyone says it's so much fun. I have to work this weekend so I'm not sure what I will be up for. That's all I've got so far. Wish me luck on my first night shift.

Chaotically Connected

Today in class, we were talking about different frameworks within which you can look at families. In discussing the meaning of families, it brought my own to my mind. In one such framework, you could classify your family by looking at certain characteristics. I did the assessment for my family in particular and it was determined that my family is "chaotically connected." This phrase completely describes my family. And I've never been able to describe my family in so few words. This does it perfectly.

Upon further examination of my job search efforts, I have realized why my ego has taken such a blow this past month. To preface my analogy, I will say that I am a complete serial monogamist. I rarely am single for longer than a few months. And then I tend to get in long, serious, and committed relationships (what lesbians don't? Just kidding.) The search for employment is very similar to looking for a partner -- a mate -- a boyfriend, or girlfriend. First of all, it is generally a goal or expectation for a person to have a relationship. The same holds true for a job. When one begins the search for a job, you must look in several different places, change your resume slightly to fit the job description, and then anxiously wait for a phone call. The phone call. The one that sets up the "big date." You pick out a nice outfit, shave your legs, leave your hair down and go over what you should or should not say on your date. You show up on time, smile, laugh at their jokes, and tell them about yourself. After the interview, you're feeling like it went great, but now the waiting begins again. And in my particular case, I would have these amazing interviews, but no return phone call. I would even do the cordial thing by sending an email or leaving a message thanking the person for their time. Still nothing. All in all, this experience has taught me that searching for a job is like dating but without any of the fun stuff (like making out.) And when you least expect it, dressed like you always are, hair messed up, you meet someone amazing, conversation is effortless, and you get your second call. Looking for a job is totally like dating and I'm glad I've decided to go steady with a hospital that offered me a position today!

This is summer?

I meant to write a post last week after the fury of final exams had subsided. But I completed almost all my other to-dos. However I've had a few other things on my mind. My second semester of nursing school was successfully completed while maintaining my sparkling 4.0 GPA. (I figure I better enjoy it while it lasts or doesn't...) Grades and exams went off without a hitch. The devil of a research paper was finished and turned in. In fact, our group submitted the abstract for presentation at a conference. Everything turned out just fine. Now I'm back to school with a vengeance (Mon-Fri) complete with 4 chapters of reading per night.

Unfortunately, my hunt for employment hasn't been nearly as successful at all. I have been searching for a job for almost a month now and nothing has concretely panned out. In the past, I have found employment within a few days or a week. Never a month. Never this long. And it's not like I'm some crazy person off the street without any solid work history, prior references, a criminal record, or a high-school drop-out (not making any judgment calls about the employability of others with these characteristics.) I have gone on several interviews -- wonderfully professional and cordial interviews -- witty jokes and smiles were exchanged, hands were shaken, but no jobs were offered, no returned phone calls. At this point, I'm getting really discouraged. It has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart. Perhaps a contributing factor is my participation in the farmworker program. Many employers don't look favorably on 2 weeks of vacation (...so what if I'm helping a vulnerable population...) --- I guess. So now I'm wandering in the abyss of self-doubt about whether or not I made the right decision to be in the program -- to pass up externship programs and money. Ultimately, I do believe I made the right decision but I just have to weather this rough patch before it gets better. (That's assuming that it *will* get better soon!) As my clinical instructor says, "If it can be fixed with money, it's not really a problem..."

A former doula client of mine is going back to work at the end of the summer and has been strongly hinting that she'd like me to nanny for her. While the job sounds easy enough -- I love the family and the baby -- I'm not sure it will work with my schedule. She has called me several times and even had her husband call me to convince me to come. While they are quite adamant about having me with them, the job wouldn't start until Aug -- and I need money as of yesterday. So that doesn't really help me out much. I may resort to hitting the pavement, passing out flyers for some quick cash. Tomorrow is an interview for a paid internship with PP which sounds promising. There may be another interview in the works for this week as well. I'm tired of interviewing, applying, resume-ing...I just want a job. Is that so difficult? From what I've heard from my friends who relocated as well -- the job market here is very interesting and it does take a long time to get a job.

Completely unrelated is my new fascination with Pandora --- I'm listening to it as I write. I've been looking for internet radio but managed to not find out about it until today. When I'm working, I like to listen to classical music. I tried purchasing classical CDs but I get tired of the same songs playing over and over. I hate most of the radio stations here -- that part of my regional identity refuses to budge. I still listen to my old NPR station online. It's a small piece of home down here in GA. One time, I even heard the traffic report and made a mental note that I'd need to leave earlier because of the traffic. Then I realized that I was in GA and wouldn't need the VA traffic report. It's the small things that make me homesick.

Speaking of home, I miss my family terribly. It's been almost 6 months since I saw them last. I haven't been away from them for this long since I used to live with my mother before high school. This particular time is especially hard because it's "the season" of a birthday each week. Some sort of family gathering, celebration, or party. It goes steady all the way up until my birthday. Hopefully either they can come down here or I can scrounge up some change and drive up there. I do miss them so.

Biking has been going very well. Although the hills of GA are challenging, I shorten my commute each time I ride to school. I also find it refreshing to get on my bike in the early morning and ride to school. I even motivated a classmate of mine to purchase a bike as well. I won't be riding tomorrow due to the interview, but Wednesday I will be back in the saddle. I need to purchase some crotch-protecting bike shorts soon, but am unsure of what to buy. Anyone with experience, tips...please let me know what you found helpful!